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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

Erma Bombeck

Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Gift Hide Price Women
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK

Beginning Different Husband Vacation Wife
Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK

Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK

Act Children Forgiveness Love
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
ERMA BOMBECK

Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK

Family Judgement Mom Understand
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
ERMA BOMBECK

Home Ideas Myself See Work
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
ERMA BOMBECK

Discover Myself Science Worry
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK

End God Hope Inspirational Life Motivational Myself Success Talent
I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECK

Death Experience Food Funny Hope Humor Man Myself Pieces Travel
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Life
I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK

Exercise Insect Inspiration Woman

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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