My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECKThe hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
ERMA BOMBECK