I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
ERMA BOMBECKSome emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Children make your life important.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK