Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
ERMA BOMBECKChildren make your life important.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Children make your life important.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK