Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECKIt takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Children make your life important.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK







