Never have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECKIt takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK -
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK -
There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Children make your life important.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK







