The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERThe definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKERHe is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKERI’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKERNow I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!
DOROTHY PARKERIf you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.
DOROTHY PARKEROh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
DOROTHY PARKERDrink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)
DOROTHY PARKERAnd if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKERIt was written without fear and without research.
DOROTHY PARKERHonesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
DOROTHY PARKERVice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKERA hangover is the wrath of grapes.
DOROTHY PARKERI require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.
DOROTHY PARKERThat woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKERI know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKERYears are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER