I’m not a writer with a drinking problem, I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
DOROTHY PARKEROf Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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Oh, seek, my love, your newer way; I’ll not be left in sorrow. So long as I have yesterday, Go take your damned tomorrow!
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The only “ism” Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
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Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.
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That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
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Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it and it darts away.
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
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Genius can write on the back of old envelopes but mere talent requires the finest stationery available.
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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
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I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
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They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER