The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKERMen seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
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I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it’s so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.
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That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
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A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
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The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
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Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
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Writing well is the best revenge.
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This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
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By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
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If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
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And I’ll stay off Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.
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Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
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A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.
DOROTHY PARKER







