This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKERIt turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER -
Telegram to a friend who had just become a mother after a prolonged pregnancy: Good work, Mary. We all knew you had it in you.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Said after she had been seriously ill: The doctors were very brave about it.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I can’t write five words but that I change seven.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Heterosexuality is not normal, it’s just common.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
DOROTHY PARKER -
It was written without fear and without research.
DOROTHY PARKER -
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER -
Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER