“My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.”

One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.

I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.

Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.

I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.

If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.

If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.

I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.

Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.

Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.

The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.

Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.

The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark.

Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.

Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.

Comedy is allied to justice.

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, I might not stop. This is the way I look at tragedy or else I’ll cry.

Actors should stop posting on social media. If we know you it’s harder for us to believe your role. Comedians excluded.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

Comedy is a high form of art becaus it brings us more joy than anything else.

If I talked I would become like any other comedian.

I think you’re bound to get a sense of any character that you play. It’s not something you often do in comedy.

I don’t do comedy. I think if a situation is funny you just play it for real and if it’s funny, it’s funny.