No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
DAVE CHAPPELLEWeed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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I think every group of black guys should have at least one white guy in it.
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I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
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The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It’s dismissive.
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One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
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I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.
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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
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If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.
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Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
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I care about the work I do. But I’m not going to say that money’s not an issue.
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All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
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You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
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I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.
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They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
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I enjoy my own thoughts sometimes.
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I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.
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I’m famous today. People like me today. Might not like me tomorrow. You can’t count on it.
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Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
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Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
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I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
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I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
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There’s something about doing stand-up that’s cathartic.
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You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
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I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
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Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you’re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go.
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It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.
DAVE CHAPPELLE