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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!

Bob Saget

And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
BOB SAGET

Bird Country Cutting People
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGET

Nice Pieces Salmon
My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET

Fishes Nothing Pieces
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET

House Lasts People
I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGET

Censor Sick World
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET

Biker Club Kids School
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET

Diets Eating Food
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying

A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!

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A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!

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Popular Authors

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