I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGETI have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGETLadies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGETMy haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGETSaw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
BOB SAGETWhat do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGETMost people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGETIt’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
BOB SAGETThe selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGETI’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGETIf you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGETThe favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGETIn the creative sense, I’m looking forward to collaborating with people I have mutual respect for to create some really good work.
BOB SAGETI was in a supermarket and I saw Paul Newman’s face on salad dressing and spaghetti sauce….I thought he was missing.
BOB SAGETThe secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGETIf I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGETThe nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
BOB SAGET