My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGETNo one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
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Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
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The nature of comedy is ‘just do it.’ But I think what’s interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it’s just saying what’s wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
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I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
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I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
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It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
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It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
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I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
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I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
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Valuable people are undervalued.
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Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
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It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET