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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

Bob Saget

No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?
BOB SAGET

Hurt Love Pain Someone
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET

Doorways May Stressed Unflattered
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET

Good Naked Together Way
Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET

Bored People Talking
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
Words matter. Especially ones with four letters.
BOB SAGET

Four Letters Matter
Saw a man in Whole Foods yelling at his son, What are you doing?! You know I don’t eat bread!! Is there such a thing as health food abuse?
BOB SAGET

Men Saw Son Yelling
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
I love my mom! You can too for $12!
BOB SAGET

Affection Emotion Love Mom

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

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