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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

Bob Saget

I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Dirty Nuts Show Shows Television
There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.
BOB SAGET

Country People Two Wii
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGET

Nice Pieces Salmon
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGET

Change Something Things Wake
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
BOB SAGET

Littles People Smoking
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
BOB SAGET

Banking Government Thinking
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET

Fleas Hurt Spider
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET

Diets Eating Food
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

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The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

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More Bob Saget Quotes