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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.

Bob Saget

My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET

Mom Thinking Today Told
That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
BOB SAGET

Country Definitely People Showed
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
I’m a believer that when one door closes another one opens. But why does the one opening always hit me full-speed-knob-first into my nuts?
BOB SAGET

Doe Doors Nuts
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
Think well of yourself and others will too. Unless those others are in government, banking, or show business.
BOB SAGET

Banking Government Thinking
I am stressed because once I am flattened out so thin to be able to slide under a doorway, I may never be able to ever be unflattened so I could be regular sized again.
BOB SAGET

Doorways May Stressed Unflattered
My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
BOB SAGET

Dad Dark House
I’m completely changing my diet. My nutritionist recommends I must now stop eating food I have already eliminated.
BOB SAGET

Diets Eating Food
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET

House Waiting Yesterday
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
They say, Keep your enemies closer. But what if you live with them?
BOB SAGET

Closer Enemies Say
I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
BOB SAGET

Boys Car Country Years
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless

There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.

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There are no I’s in we but there are two i’s in Wii.

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Popular Authors

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