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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

Bob Saget

If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGET

Interviews Littles People
When you’re famous, you’re always famous. It doesn’t go away.
BOB SAGET

Away Famous Going
Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET

Bored People Talking
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET

Fishes Nothing Pieces
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
BOB SAGET

Nice Pieces Salmon
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
And turkeys are a bird. A very nervous bird. You’d be nervous too if you knew that one day you’d get your head cut off and… filled with stuffing.
BOB SAGET

Bird Country Cutting People
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?
BOB SAGET

Girl Met Reasonable Told

It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

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It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.

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Popular Authors

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