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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

Bob Saget

It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET

Make People Think Thinking
It’s a new day: Full of promise and love. The only thing that can take away that great feeling is – reading the news or speaking to people.
BOB SAGET

Day New People Reading
Wise men say, only fools rush in. Wise men are so slow.
BOB SAGET

Fool Men Wise
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET

Everyone Love Pay
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET

Attack Cauterize Done People
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
BOB SAGET

Car Girlfriend Kitchen
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET

Dad Dollar Funny Mom Sex
I’m psyched about what I can contribute that can be meaningful to myself and to others.
BOB SAGET

Meaningful Myself Physical
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.
BOB SAGET

Cry Favorite Song Thinking
The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
BOB SAGET

Children Secret Way
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
25, 30 years ago, that meant something, they were making some money. And they were doing all sorts of comedy, screaming at the audience, basically crowd control. And then there was the whole urban comedy scene.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Crowds Screaming Something Sort Years
Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
BOB SAGET

Dad Dark House

When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

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When someone you love is hurting, if it was possible, you’d want to take their pain for them. But do I really want cramps and sore boobs?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes