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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.

Bob Saget

My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET

Clothes Dad Mom
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET

Day End Over Time
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET

Fishes Nothing Pieces
I have a feeling I’m going to wake up one day and say ‘I can’t do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.’ I’ll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
BOB SAGET

Anymore Dirty Laughing People Stuff
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless
I don’t censor myself, but I don’t want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.
BOB SAGET

Censor Sick World
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGET

Interesting People Way
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET

Hurt Laughing People
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET

Beautiful Nice Reckless
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
BOB SAGET

Enjoy Masturbation Public
I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.
BOB SAGET

Acting Fun People
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
The favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
BOB SAGET

Kids Responsibility Wine

I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.

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I love telling stories and acting and entertaining people. I don’t want to make fun of people.

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