Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPEHappiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Lots of travel, away from home.
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My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
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I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
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One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we’ll have her forever.
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The firm is really ahead of the times. It has a stock market ticker that prints its report on thin aspirins.
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I like to play in the low 70’s. If it gets any hotter than that I’ll stay in the bar!
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Did you see where President Reagan finally got a hearing aid? People have been telling him to get one for years, but he couldn’t hear them.
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I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it’s silly to let the game get to you.
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
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I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
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I was lucky I wasn’t a better boxer, or that’s what I’d be now – a punchy ex-pug.
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE