Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPEHappiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
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The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
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A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
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Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
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The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
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Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
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YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
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Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
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Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
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Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
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For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
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You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE