Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.
BOB HOPEHappiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he’s now my golf bag.
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When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things – not the great occasions – that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
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It’s very frustrating making a picture in Paris. We work hard all day at the studio to get a love scene just right. Then, on my way home, I see couples on every street corner doing it better.
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I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
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I do try to work out a little. I go swimming twice a day. It beats buying golf balls.
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One of our stock lines used to be “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for Bing, and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for me.” And that’s the way we go through life – doing nothing for each other!
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By the 9th hole they were engaged and when they finished on 18 they had a foursome.
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Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
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I’ve been married fifty-five years and I’ve been home three weeks.
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All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
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I was there. I saw your sons and your husbands, your brothers and your sweethearts. I saw how they worked, played, fought, and lived. I saw some of them die.
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The help (in Japan) is very polite. They bow so much, you don’t know which end to talk to.
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The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
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Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
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At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.
BOB HOPE