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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.

Bob Hope

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
I have performed for 12 presidents and entertained only six.
BOB HOPE

Men President Six
The big difference in those days was that in England the Government subsidized TV, in America we work on TV so we can subsidize the Government.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Government Humorous People
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
BOB HOPE

Day Mean Motherhood Mothers
We’re on our way to the Persian Gulf. Wait! It’s a mistake! I thought they said Persian Golf.
BOB HOPE

Golf Mistake Persian Waiting Way
Bing Crosby and I play a lot of golf together and I have a small course at my place where we often play for side stakes.
BOB HOPE

Course Golf Play Small Winning
The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time.
BOB HOPE

Age Growing Long
Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands
BOB HOPE

Culture Hands Moving
YOU CAN ONLY DO ONE THING AT A TIME SO CONCENTRATE ON IT.
BOB HOPE

Concentrate Grandchildren One Thing Tim
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Kissing Tea
Not that they were that anxious to see Ronnie as President; they were afraid if he didn’t get elected, he’d go back to acting.
BOB HOPE

Acting Funny President
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE

Belief Comedian Funny Humorous
For the first time, you can actually see the losers turn green
BOB HOPE

Firsts Green Oscars
You know what a fan letter is – it’s just an inky raspberry.
BOB HOPE

Fans Letters Raspberries
The home videos aren’t as good, but they are seeming to get better.
BOB HOPE

Better Get Home Video
Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.
BOB HOPE

Ambulance Golf Golfer Guy Slowly Speaks Time Way

Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.

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Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend’s house during a power failure.

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