The old water heater in my dressing room was working, but it was kind of tired. It gave off about as much warmth as an agent’s handshake.
BOB HOPEUS President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!
More Bob Hope Quotes
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Sure Vietnam is a dirty war. I’ve never heard of a clean one.
BOB HOPE -
I don’t know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.
BOB HOPE -
Kissing is like drinking tea with a tea strainer, you can never get enough.
BOB HOPE -
To give you an idea of how fast we travelled – we left with two rabbits and when we arrived we still had only two.
BOB HOPE -
Tokyo cab drivers are all ex-kamikaze pilots.
BOB HOPE -
Bing Crosby and I weren’t the types to go around kissing each other. We always had a light jab for each other.
BOB HOPE -
The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
BOB HOPE -
I only speak a little pigeon French. Just enough to get by with the little French pigeons.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE -
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?
BOB HOPE -
Having so many gold courses so close together was ideal for me. With my slice I could enjoy three or four golf courses at the same time.
BOB HOPE -
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE -
She got to enjoy the personal side of the players. They were her kids. The Braves were her family.
BOB HOPE -
All British castles and old country homes are supposed to be haunted. It’s in the lease.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve got to watch myself these days. It’s too exciting watching anyone else.
BOB HOPE