Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAMAnd if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM