For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
BO BURNHAMAnd if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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I just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
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Where are all the sour patch parents?
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
BO BURNHAM