It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
BO BURNHAMAnd two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
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You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
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I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
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I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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I always wanted to be a comedian and actor. I basically stumbled into the music medium, though. I’m OK, but that’s about it. I like to think I’m good enough not to negatively affect the performance.
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I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.
BO BURNHAM