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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.

Bo Burnham

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Funny Humor
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
BO BURNHAM

People Thinking Worry
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
BO BURNHAM

Character Meaningful Way
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
BO BURNHAM

Jesus Land Water
I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
BO BURNHAM

Speak Thinking Want
I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
BO BURNHAM

Kids Singing Song
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
BO BURNHAM

Fifteen Funny Humor
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
BO BURNHAM

Beautiful Distance Funny
Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Poverty Racism
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Funny Humor Women
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.

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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.

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Popular Authors

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