I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAMComedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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Where are all the sour patch parents?
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There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
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I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
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I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
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