I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
BILLY CRYSTALWhen I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTAL