I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTALWhen I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
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At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
BILLY CRYSTAL