I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
BILLY CONNOLLYI just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. “Is this yours?” she asked “probably” said Paddy “she burns everything else”
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Don’t work out, work in.
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
BILLY CONNOLLY