Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe more you know the less the better.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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When I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I once travelled to Adelaide on Emu Airways. I was 5,000 ft up in the air when someone pointed out to me that emus can’t fly
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY