I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe more you know the less the better.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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Wisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
BILLY CONNOLLY







