I think age is terribly overrated. You’re okay as long as you don’t grow up. By all means grow old, but don’t mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.
BILLY CONNOLLYI was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
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The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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