Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. “Is this yours?” she asked “probably” said Paddy “she burns everything else”
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
BILLY CONNOLLY