People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
BILLY CONNOLLYTry to live in a place you like.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
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