I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I don’t understand art-speak. My pictures are big doodles. I’m amazed what people come up with when they look at them.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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Outgrew the media… The negativity felt like a disease.
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Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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didn’t even know there were specialist zombie magazines and clubs. I heard the other day that a radio station had asked people if they`d made preparations for an attack by zombies, and a staggering number of people replied yes!
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Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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The religion in Scotland is one of the most patronising things… after the weather.
BILLY CONNOLLY