I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
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I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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