There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
BILLY CONNOLLYI have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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There’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
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If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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When you involved in an accident and someone asks “are you alright?” Yes fine thanks, I’ll just pick up my limbs and be off.
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Don’t buy one of those baby intercoms. Babies pretend to be dead. They’re bastards, and they do it on purpose.
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A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
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[To audience members who were arriving late] You haven’t missed a thing, I was just killing time ’til you got here.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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