Try to live in a place you like.
BILLY CONNOLLYKilling a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
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Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
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I don’t believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It’s on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it’s supposed to give you a parking space. It’s worked so far.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
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American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
BILLY CONNOLLY