It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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I love Scotland and I speak about it a lot, so people think I’m desperate to go back. They just take it upon themselves to say I’m going back, but I’m not. I’d rather concentrate on becoming a citizen of the world.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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Behind the proscenium arch, you can’t always hear what people in the audience are saying.
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Try to live in a place you like.
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It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY