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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Billy Connolly

It’s my mind, and I reserve the right to change it as often as I like.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Change Mind Often Reserve
The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Coffee Forehead Lunch Somebody Talking Zombie
There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Adventure Being Happy Running
I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Algebra Funny Humor Likely never
I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Firsts Guy Minute Movie Stars
Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Objects Running Scissors
Don’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLY

never Out Work
I am totally, absolutely romantic. When I broke up with a girl I would listen to the most heart-breaking music and make it worse. That’s what girls do. I think I am a girl really.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Breaking Girl Heart Thinking Worse
Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Cowardice Language Politically Correct
American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dolls People Sex Suppose
A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for instance. They’ve been offending other people for centuries.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Offending People Religious
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Mother
The world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Needs People Round Swings Thinking
Never trust people who’ve only got one book.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Book never People Trust
I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Brought Catholic Guilt Level
Don’t tell me how to do my job. I don’t come to your workplace and tell you how to sweep up.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Jobs Jon Tell Workplace

Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

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Popular Authors

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