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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

Bill Maher

I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER

God Man Quit Suicide Way Yourself
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHER

Difference People Prayer Religious Warm Yourself
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHER

Big Ideas Myself Woman
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER

Boy Embrace History Ideas Low Slow Technology
Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
BILL MAHER

End Happy News Offering People William
The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
BILL MAHER

Animal Dog Home Love Myself Reason World
Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
BILL MAHER

Better Care People
Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
BILL MAHER

Progress Religion Society
Religion is insanity by consensus.
BILL MAHER

Consensus Religion Sanity
Denying racism is the new racism.
BILL MAHER

New Race Trend
Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER

Loyalty Man Option
That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
BILL MAHER

Connection Greatness Internet Network
Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHER

Hollywood Mirror Yourself
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
BILL MAHER

Click Perspective Reading Religious Software
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER

Myself Political Sensitive Truth

Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.

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