In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHERIn an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
BILL MAHER






