We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
BILL MAHERIn an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER