People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHERDuring the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
BILL MAHER