The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHERDuring the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER