Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHERCurious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
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The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER