To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHERCurious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER






