I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
BILL MAHERHollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
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Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
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When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER