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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

Bill Maher

I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER

Feeling Myself Shoes Stand Wear
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER

Break Home Right Shoot Trade Yourself
Religion is insanity by consensus.
BILL MAHER

Consensus Religion Sanity
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER

Generosity Help Liberal Myself
Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
BILL MAHER

Game Injustice Rival Sport Unfair Yourself
The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
BILL MAHER

Friendship Ideas Lover Man Treat Woman Yourself
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
BILL MAHER

Conservative Illegal Myself Serious Sexuality Work
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER

Fake Feeling Hope Yourself
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHER

Better Country Flaw Myself Patriot Point Thinking
There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
BILL MAHER

God Live Money Ourselves Trust
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
BILL MAHER

God Man Myself Need Religion
A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
BILL MAHER

Fertilizer Perfume Woman Yourself
Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
BILL MAHER

Check Funny People Support
The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
BILL MAHER

Act Myself Pretend Sexuality Understand
It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
BILL MAHER

American Better Education People Stupidity Worst
Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
BILL MAHER

Admire Critical Faith Purpose Suspense Thinking

You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.

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