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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.

Bill Maher

In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHER

Government Hospital Party Politics Profit Socialism
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER

Book History Reading Thinking Tough Yourself
I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHER

Better Country Flaw Myself Patriot Point Thinking
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER

Believe Love Myself Politics Stupidity
If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
BILL MAHER

Conservative Human Money Myself Profit Universal
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHER

Call Eat Fries Government Home Listening Trust Way
I’m for the death penalty, I’m pro-abortion, I’m pro-assisted suicide, I’m pro-regular suicide. Anything that’ll get the traffic moving.
BILL MAHER

Death Move Myself Suicide Traffic
I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
BILL MAHER

Police Religious Reminder Understand
Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHER

Conservatism Honesty Liberal Myself Politics Spin
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHER

Certain Ideas People Problem
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER

Activist People Sexuality Stop
I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
BILL MAHER

Bible Constitution People Problem
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER

Abuse Children Follower Leadership Yourself
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER

Fake Feeling Hope Yourself

I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.

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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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