The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHERWhen you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER