In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHERTo most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHER -
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
BILL MAHER -
What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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False hope really makes you cynical.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
BILL MAHER -
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
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To those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
BILL MAHER -
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
BILL MAHER