When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHERAtheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHER