The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHERAtheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the same day. Obama came out against lunatics with guns, she gave the rebuttal.
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Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn’t know a game is going on?
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
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I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
BILL MAHER