Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
BILL MAHEREmergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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Anyone who tells you that they know, they just know what happens when you die, I promise you, you dont. How can I be so sure? Because I dont know and you do not possess mental powers that I do not.
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHER