Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
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The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
BILL MAHER