I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
BILL MAHERIn this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Men are only as loyal as their options.
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The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he’s the only one in the world who treats me like I’m the Beatles.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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Ninety percent of people support background checks. Which means even people who can’t pass a background check support background checks.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
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If it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
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I don’t say that I’m an atheist. I don’t like that term, because I think it mirrors the certitude of religion. I say I don’t know. And if you don’t know – and you don’t – just man up and say you don’t know. Don’t turn to silly stories and ancient myths.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER