Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
BILL HICKSI’ve learned a lot about women. I think I’ve learned exactly how the fall of man occured in the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden, and Adam said one day, Wow, Eve, here we are, at one with nature, at one with God, we’ll never age.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.
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…I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An ‘avenging GOD’? One who created Hell for those who don’t believe?
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We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?
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How would you like to get inside that guy’s mind and look around for a hour? That guy sees opportunity at every glance, doesn’t he?
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Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you’ve chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You’re dead too.
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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
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My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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I believe we all have the Voice of Reason inside us…to gently lead us out of our own self-created hells.
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If I thought the Jews killed God, I’d worship the Jews.
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How come people always flip and think they’re Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus. ‘Ah’m BUDDHA!’ ‘You’re Bubba!’ ‘Ah’m Buddha now..All I gotta do is change 3 letters on ma belt.
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
BILL HICKS






