What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
BILL HICKSI began working quite young, writing, growing, maturing, always striving to top myself – to make people laugh hard at things they know and believe deep in their hearts to be true.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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I’ve been on what I call my UFO Tour, which means, like UFOs, I too have been appearing in small southern towns in front of a handful of hillbillies lately.
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When you’re…stepping over a guy on the sidewalk…does it ever occur to you to think, ‘Wow. Maybe our system doesn’t work?’
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How many people disapprove of the job the Conservatives are doing? Seventy percent. Of those same people, how many will vote for them again? …Seventy percent. What the fuck? Where did they take this poll, at an S&M parlor?
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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What does an atheist scream when they come?
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I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)
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You are the imagination of yourself.
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It’s all about money, not freedom. If you think you’re free, try going somewhere without money, okay?
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That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
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I wish I could meet a Christian who would proselytize to me, but they keep running away from me. I wanna talk to you all.
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I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
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If ur going to have a war on drugs, have them against ALL drugs, including alcohol, the number one offender.
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I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
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Rock stars against drugs–that’s what we want, isn’t it? Government-approved rock-n-roll? Woo! We’re partying now!
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There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.
BILL HICKS







