Nostalgia: How long’s that been around?
BILL BAILEYDo not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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I suppose you could be a member of a terrorist organization in a non-violent way, in the laundry or the catering department.
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The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we’re still alive, before we die.
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Without the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard.
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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Marijuana? It’s harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it
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I spent my childhood scrambling round badgers and foxes and playing fantastic country kid games like knocking on people’s doors and running away. God that was a good game.
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Come to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.
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This shed does not contain me.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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I’m English, and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the toy out of sheer despair.
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Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism.
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There we go, that’s it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
BILL BAILEY